space

Giving someone space. It's hard. I noticed in this last week, since we got to be outside so much, that Silas is cool with going it alone a bit. I mean, I'm not dropping him off and telling him I'll be back in a few hours. He's still a baby. But, now that he's walking he really enjoys just going off on his own. And so I let him. I lie on our blanket and let him wander a bit. Of course, as soon as I feel slightly nervous that people are wondering who the hell that kid belongs to, I yell his name and motion for him to come back. He always does. I sort of get the feeling that I'm preparing for the future. When a child really doesn't need their mama all that much. Maybe being ok with it now is hardening me up a bit so I don't lose it the day he tells me he can do it himself. 

I actually really like doing this. Watching him explore, maybe eat some grass, fall down a few times and always getting back up. I probably have a stupid grin on my face the whole time. Partly because it's just so cute to watch a baby make sweet little curious faces, but also because it is so exciting to see him learning. I'm so mushy! But, honestly I am finding it just super enjoyable watching my baby boy put this world together.