Bread bakin'

I love to cook. I hate to bake. Baking does not work out well for me. I follow recipes to a T and instead of chewy soft cookies I end up with fluffy flavorless cookies. I have slowly been building up my baking repertoire though with things that are simple and offer a little forgiveness. The fire has been burning in me to bake some bread, so this last week I've tried out a few recipes and this was definitely the winner. Super crunchy outside and soft on the inside, perfect for lots of butter and some strawberry jam. Damn delicious. You can find the original recipe here.

Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 packet of rapid rise yeast (if using regular yeast, proof in 1/4 of warm water + 1tsp sugar. Let sit for 10 mins until doubled in volume. Honestly, rapid rise will work the best though.)
1 tablespoon salt (use kosher salt or something similar in "coarseness". If you use regular table salt at this measurement it will be way too salty. Trust me.)
1 1/2 cups water

Directions:

Mix flour, yeast and salt together and whisk. Add in water and stir. It will be VERY, VERY, sticky. Scrape the side of the bowl as well as you can and cover with plastic wrap (not airtight). Leave on your counter for 12-18 hrs. There is NO need, well...to knead. That is what makes this so easy. You simply let it sit (I did mine overnight). After time is up, heat your oven to 450 degrees. When the oven is at temp. put your dutch oven (or something oven safe with a lid) into the oven for 30 mins so that the pot is nice and hot. Flour a surface liberally and plop out your dough. Flour your hands and shape into a round ball. Now, take out your dutch oven all the while being very careful as it is scorching. Carefully put your dough in the dutch oven (no need for oil) and slide that sucker back in. Bake for 30 mins with the lid on and another 15 mins with the lid off. Voila. Fresh baked bread.

It's extremely sticky so don't be scared to flour the hell out of your counter.

Imagine my surprise when I popped the lid off and saw this pretty thing.

Happy Baking! xo

Going & Going & Going

I went from feeling like we had nothing going on for the month of January...to feeling like there isn't enough time to do all it is that we need to do. Seems to always work out like that. So we are coming up on our little guy "turning" (is that the right word? Feels like it's only fitting to say that for a birthday. Anyways...) 9 months and WOW. Time is flying. Such a cliche mama thing to say, but for real. So Silas is 9 months (almost). Kid still has no teeth. Boggles my mind. Where are they? I don't know. He doesn't know. He is crawling like a crazy person and he is now standing. STANDING people. I really need him to chill out on this growing up thing, because it is freaking me out. We are going to get super into some baby sign language this month so that there can be some form of communication other than his "whiny" yelps and crying. But, who am I kidding? At the rate he is going I'm sure the words will start flowing in no time. My goal in the next few weeks is to really get him interacting with some kiddies. Silas, my lovely sensitive chunky baby is very nervous around other people. At home he is rambunctious, playful, laughs a lot...but he tends to freeze up/cry when he is in an unfamiliar place with faces he is not used to. We're workin' on it. On the agenda this week is definitely a hike since the Portland weather man is telling us it's going to be 50 degrees and sunny (!) on Tuesday. We can't wait to use our new hiking backpack and get some fresh air. Also, we can't wait for some family photo's with our favorite photog extraordinaire Christy! If you don't already follow me on Pinterest, you should, and while you're there you can check out our inspiration board for the shoot. Well, January is full of lots of goodness and I'm pretty stoked for it all. Oh yeah, and who doesn't love doing their taxes and gettin' some $$ back?! January is also the time for that :) Cheers! xo

Fussy. Drooling. Yet, no teeth. Ugh.

Nothing to do with anything I just talked about other than I will consume an enormous amount of these all month long.

I know dude, I feel the same way when your papa goes to work....

Messes. All the time. Everywhere.

Dose of cuteness

How about starting your weekend with the cutest picture ever? :) xo

*Have a great weekend! If you don't follow us on instagram, you're missing out!

the indecisive "me"

I'm not sure if you could call me a "dreamer"...but I definitely fantasize (eeks, I don't like that word for some reason, but we are going with it) about all of the other places out there and how I can live it all. Now, this seems like it's not going anywhere so just bear with me. I love Portland. I do. I have left and come back to this rainy, lovely city, where the young go to retire (haha!) twice now. This last time we came back I didn't get the same feeling as I did the first though. It's like I kept waiting for this jovial and ecstatic feeling to overcome me and it never showed up. Instead it just made me feel a little "blah". I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was 7 months pregnant or what, but I got here, unpacked, and then thought to myself how it really didn't feel how I wanted it too. I still have that feeling. Now, don't get me wrong...I really disliked living in Boise. Landlocked. Red state (sorry kids, I'm a pretty liberal gal). None of it was for me. But, while we lived in Boise my relationship with my hubby had never been better. I'm kind of craving that no bullshit, less stressed life again. I mean, who doesn't want that? Anyways, what I am trying to say in this rambling of a post is that I am wanting something else. I haven't exactly decided if it's a "something" or a "somewhere" that I'm currently grasping for, but I definitely am feeling that I need to get some clarity on this little situation going on in my head/heart. I keep asking myself if it's just that I am trying to escape the bullshit that we have encountered since being back (I mean, it truly is never ending people). I feel a little out of sorts about being in this city at the moment.

*P.S Thank you for the kind words about my last post, it means a lot that people actually even read it. Definitely enjoying this blogging adventure I am on.

*I can't really think of pictures to attach to this post that correlate, but every post deserves some pictures! Am I right?! So yeah, here are some randoms. Enjoy :)

We obviously have no shame.

Fake it till you make it (that "smile"). He's cute.

Mama. Bebe.

This has no filter (for once!). It was accompanied by a text from my hubby that said "Saw this sunset. Thought of you."

Can't leave you without a food pic :) I am currently obsessed with curried potatoes for breakfast. so.so.good.

My job

News flash: I do not sit around all day eating chocolate and painting my nails. I know, it's hard to accept (for some) that being a mom is a job. And many people feel the need to disagree (mainly; the people who are not mother's). But I am here to tell you people, as someone who used to work 40+hrs/week and go to school full-time...being a stay at home mama is no joke. I once had a girlfriend over, back when Silas was still itty bitty, and she sat on my couch and looked at me and said, "what do you do all day?". I was taken aback. What do I do all day? Well, I do a lot of things. Mainly, I keep a little human alive. Ain't no thang...but, it is. I had another friend (a male) tell me that he would be more than happy to trade me places so that he could "hang out" at home all day. The thing is, you don't know what it truly is like until you live it. So can I blame them for not knowing the daily ins and outs of my life? No. Mother hood is hard. I did not go into being a mother  completely naive. I did not think it was all cute outfits and snuggles. I knew it was going to be challenging and stressful, but wow. I did not know to what extent. And I think that goes for the majority of thing's you do in life that are new to you. Being a mama has it's rewards without a doubt, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done. And I am not afraid to admit that.

 I am my baby's primary source for food (exclusively breastfeeding), comfort, diaper changes, entertainment, and snuggles for the majority of the day. My husband does a great job of taking over when he is home, but 5 days/nights a week I am the care taker from morning to night. Silas does not sleep through the night either so every 2hrs. I am usually up with him. I have gotten used to the aching feeling behind my eyeballs all day, but it really makes the day a challenge. Also, exclusively breastfeeding does not allow me the freedom that most mama's get who bottlefeed. I know that it's my choice to make when it comes to that, but I enjoy breastfeeding and I love the bond that Silas and I have developed from it. He's almost 9 months old so I know that it will taper off soon and I'll have a little more leeway.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that this life I've chosen is amazing and hard and tiring and rewarding and beautiful. It is all of those things at any given moment. But, it's hurtful to know that there are people (maybe even friends) who think that it's all fun and games up in here and that I spend my day's lazily watching TV (we don't have one) and drinking cocktails. Having a baby is not like having a puppy. I am forever thankful for this time I spend with my baby, because I know he won't be this young forever, but It's just an odd feeling to have to defend that decision to people.

My support system here in Portland is minuscule. I have my sister (thank god), but my family isn't here. I have yet to really establish a group of girlfriends that are really a concrete part of my life. This coupled with breastfeeding means that my "alone" time is pretty much non-existent. I am constantly fighting the battle in my head of wanting to get away for a little bit and wanting to be with my baby at all times. It's a tough call and all I can hope is that I am making the right choices for my family. I think that is all anyone can ever ask. Whether those are the choices you would make personally isn't really an opinion that you should voice out loud. Plenty of mama's out there do what I do. And plenty of them do it with more little humans running around. Are we performing surgery for 10hrs? No. But my god...we sure are doing something important.

I'm lucky to be his mama.

Morning hang out spot while I pry my eye's open.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to put a diaper on a moving baby.

Morning walks around the hood.

Sometimes you just accidentally dress yourself and your child in matching outfits.

Weekend time

Since my hubs works in the service industry, our "weekend" is Monday & Tuesday. We like it this way. It lets us go out to breakfast and not have to wait for an hour for a table :) Our weekend is pretty simple this week since it's raining and cold out (although, not as cold as the Midwest...YIKES!). We originally wanted to go for a hike since we got a sweet hiking backpack for the babe, but with the flu spreading all around this fine city, I'd rather not have Silas out in the cold and rain. So I plan on going for a post office run, starting a crafting project, and trying to make some crusty yummy bread )I'll post on that later...if it turns out! - and maybe even if it doesn't.)! We'll see how that goes...

Some things we've been enjoying over here...

Homeade apple cider/ginger kombucha. Best.Thing.Ever

This guy is growing so fast. We have a STANDER!

We have yet to start solids, but he loves having some of my beet/kale smoothie in the morning.

Sorry for the ridiculous filter on this picture, but I was just messing around. Everything bagel w/ cream cheese, radish and a really special sea salt that I got for Christmas.

The cutest leggings for Silas from Sweet Lukamo. love.

These two (and our new hiking backpack!)

Fresh veggies for salad rolls

Eating those salad rolls on the floor...no dining room chairs yet!

Hanging out with this guy in the mornings.



Hope your "weekend", whatever days of the week they are, has been/will be lovely! xo

Butternut squash/carrot ginger soup

This one is a winner if I do say so myself. It's so simple and easy to make too! Since it has only a few ingredients, be sure to pick the best! Organic. No BS added in. 

Ingredients:

1 butternut squash

3 large carrots

1 red chili

2 cloves of garlic

Fresh ginger root

1 small yellow onion

1 can of coconut milk

32 oz of vegetable broth

Cilantro for garnish

Spices:

curry powder

saffron (optional; it's expensive)

ground ginger

Saffron. This stuff is pretty pricey. A girlfriend of mine brought me some home from a spice market overseas!

Pot o' Soup.

Directions:

Peel and de-seed your squash. Cut into chunks. Cut carrots into similar size (no need to peel them). Put on a baking sheet and drizzle with oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake at 375 until tender. Meanwhile, in a heavy stockpot, saute onion, 2 cloves of garlic, the red chili (I leave the seeds in), and about 1tablespoon of fresh ginger. When the onion is translucent, sprinkle in about 1 teaspoon of saffron, 1 1/2 teaspoons of curry powder, and about 1 teaspoon of ground ginger. These are all approximate and you can really add/subtract to your liking. Saute for a few more minutes to cook the curry powder a bit. Add in your coconut milk and vegetable broth. By now your squash and carrots should be cooked through, carefully add them to the broth and let simmer for about 15-20 mins. Turn off and let cool. This is very important. This soup is a puree so if you put it in your blender hot, you will likely get burned (trust me!). I used my vitamix so that it would be extra silky, but use whatever device you see fit. Blend your chilled soup and then add it back to the pot. Heat it through. Taste for salt. Serve with a little cilantro on top and enjoy!