Sleepless in The Bushong house

The Sleep Bandit (and his double chin).

First off, I hope you got my cheesy title for this post...and if you don't well...you win some, you lose some. Second off, I can't for the life of me remember what a full night's sleep feels like. Seriously. Going on 9 months now and we have yet to get a full night of Silas sleeping like a little angel baby. I'm a part of this facebook group and I laughed when a mama posted about how her 3 month old "just randomly decided not to sleep for 4 nights in a row, what could be wrong?!". Listen, lady. I'm going on day 270. So, here Nick and I are...craving some ZzZZz's and we literally have no idea what to do. I feel like we keep convincing ourselves that it will, no...more like has to happen at some point. And then sometimes I think to myself "Did I fail somewhere?", because to be completely honest I was a total asshole exclaiming to the world that I was going to have a 3 month old who slept through the night.

Yes, Silas. This is how I feel after a sleepless night too. (Actually, he was pretty sad when is Papa left for work this day. Poor little bebe sat by the entryway like this after he closed the door!)

In the midst of a rather irritating and sleepless day I started looking up sleep training BS. In there somewhere it kept mentioning how I was supposed to be responsible for "teaching" my child how to properly sleep. So, of course I felt like I really screwed it up. That's how this parenting gig works though. There are a million ways to do things and it's straight up overwhelming at times. The guilt of "Am I doing this right?" is all consuming. I nurse Silas to sleep every night and I nurse him back to sleep the 10 times he wakes up during the night. We co-sleep. To 1/2 of the parenting population I am doing it wrong. To the other 1/2 I am doing it right. It's hard. At this point we aren't really going to change much. I don't want him to cry it out and I don't see how me spending 2 hours with him doing that, rather than 15 minutes letting him nurse is going to help me get any more sleep. I mean, what can we do at this point? The kid is almost 9 months. I'm not going to stop nursing anytime soon and we enjoy snuggling him and co-sleeping. I guess we've made our sleepless bed and now we have to lie in it. With that said, I'm going to go drink a glass of vino and sit on pinterest because that's what mama's who don't sleep do ;) Cheers! xo