Baby Boosh // 19 weeks

No choice but to selfie this crap. Silas needs to get some camera skills.

Wow. In the beginning of this pregnancy I found myself wishing it to hurry along, it felt like it was going too slow. Now, I am singing the opposite tune. How are we almost half way there?! It's crazy and stressing me out. This week begins the baby prep. Not like we have too much to do right now, I definitely learned a lot from last time and am not putting much emphasis on things like the nursery, clothes, etc. More than anything I want to de-clutter and organize. We are switching up the bedroom situation and I have a "wish list" of furniture that I need to get in here before this babe comes. I am SO excited for our ultrasound. Feeling a little pressure about the sex of the baby so I am trying not to put much thought into what I think it might be. Everyone is saying "Girl" and I feel like I have to deliver (no pun intended) on that! But hey, it's not up to me kids. Just looking forward to seeing that little face and hearing "everything looks great". 

How far along? 19 weeks

Total weight gain: 5+lbs (not exact, definitely more than 5lbs)

Maternity clothes? Still in my regular jeans. I decided not to buy anything new until the weather changes up.

Stretch marks? Nothing new, but I am sure there will be. To be honest, I don't care either.

Sleep: Silas slept through the night for the first time and of course I didn't sleep at all that night. Such a missed opportunity considering the night after that he was up constantly. We have him on a futon mattress in our room in the hopes that it will cure our sleeping woes. Fingers crossed.

Best moment this week: I can see movements a little bit on the outside. 

Movement: Yes! Still not consistent though and it freaks me out. For some reason I remember Silas as being really active around this time, but I could be mistaken. It's all a blur really, haha.

Food cravings: Salty!

Anything making you queasy or sick: No headaches this week which is amazing. I decided to start taking some magnesium (I take Natural Calm in some hot water with lemon) to help me sleep and keep my headaches at bay.

Gender: Finding out on Wednesday!

Belly Button in or out? Looks the same as always...flat.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks when I haven't had enough water and at the end of the day. Apparently it's all good and normal, but it was freaking me out a bit when they first started.

Mood of the week: Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Looking forward to: Gender reveal!

So this is what it feels like...

He slept. My baby slept "through the night". Yesterday, was one of the worst days and I'm not religious by any means, but I think the universe was all "Dude, let's cut you some slack". And then they sprinkled some magic sleepy dust on my little guy and he slept from 9-5. Sure, we were up at 5:30. But, beggers can't be choosers. All morning Nick and I kept exclaiming how different we felt. "This is amazing!". Ha. It's really funny the things that make you happy sometimes. So yesterday was a bitch fest for me and today I am feeling like I've got it all. Which I do have it all...but the sleep thing was the cherry on top. If you read my post yesterday, just know that I'm not a debbie downer all the time. Just when I haven't slept for 16 months...

Here's to hoping I'm not jinxing last night and this continues...

Is it bed time yet?

6am selfie which I totally intended to send to a girlfriend who wants to start a family with the caption "Don't do it." I know, I know, I'm a being a brat.

I don't really have a lot of "mom friends". That is to say, most of my girlfriends are still soaking up all that their 20's have to offer and they get a full 8 hrs of sleep. Can you tell I am writing this while having a bad day? I don't mean for it to sound harsh, I swear. I love being a mama. I really do. Over the past few months though I have just really come to see how insane of an emotional roller coaster it is. Just yesterday I thought to myself, "Wow, I love this stage that Silas is at. He is just the sweetest and cutest." And then, days like today I am just praying that the hours will zoom past me so I can put this kid to bed and maybe have a few minutes to myself. 

Girlfriends often mention to me that they are "Thinking of starting a family" or contemplating diving into this crazy world. My first reaction is always sweet and coaxing, "Oh yeah, it's amazing! You should totally do it!". But let's get honest here, sometimes in the back of my mind I have a little voice screaming, "Don't do it! If you like sleep, a clean house, and date nights with your lover, stay where you are!". And I think that sort of encompasses this world I now live in. The majority of my days are spent loving on the sweetest little boy ever. Playing in the park, swimming, laughing, building block towers and knocking them down. But, there are days where I am constantly pulling my hair out, trying to get him to eat something, stopping him from ripping our cats fur out, all while thinking about what my husband and I are going to eat for dinner. It's hard. It's easy. It's fun. It's horrible. What a trip, huh? 

I write this because I just can't imagine what life will be like x2 and it's been weighing heavily on my mind, especially days like today where I can't get my sh*t together. How will I manage? Sometimes I am barely holding on and other days I feel like I've got this down to a science. When I contemplate all of this I can't help but just feel sad that my own mother isn't here to help me out, show me her ways. I've essentially been flying solo for 16 months, no one to call to babysit or help me out while I run to the grocery store and that kind of loneliness is just something I have never experienced before. I haven't lived near home in almost 10 years and it has never bothered me until now. I know that once my babies are a little older and I can drop them off at activities that I will get the alone time I am craving, but I also can't help but feel like wishing for those days to come sooner so that I can have that is hindering my ability to enjoy what I've got now. Almost like because I don't have that family nearby to lend me their extra hands I'm missing out on enjoying my babies to the fullest. If only...right?

Time to enjoy coffee + chocolate while my monster child naps. Sometimes it just feels good to get a good bitching session in.

PS. I totally condone my friends joining me in baby land. Please. So that you can understand why I am unable to hang out at 8pm at night. Thanks!

Weekend recap

This weekend was filled with lots of water and family time. I say it over and over again, but I miss my husband terribly. That man is putting in a LOT of hours and the only full day we get with him is Sunday. This past Sunday happened to be our two year anniversary and while we started out thinking we were going to have my sister babysit Silas so that we could spend some alone time together, we scratched that and really just wanted some quality time all three of us. So we headed to the pool! Portland has a community center in every neighborhood and they all pretty much have outdoor pools. We headed to a cute little neighborhood called Sellwood and there pool is seriously amazing. It has a walk in shallow end so it was perfect to lounge in while Silas splashed next to us. He was in heaven that little water baby. We packed a cooler full of snacks and my sister met up with us. I just have to say, this neighborhood is #1 on my list for house hunting next year. I am in love! The day before I went to a yoga class and the boys hung out downtown and waited for me to finish up. Then we walked on over to a little water fountain/splash pad called Jamison square and let Silas run around a bit. It definitely isn't my favorite spot (I like our park/splash pad a lot better), but I had been wanting to check it out anyway. So that's how our weekend ended up, lots of pics below :)

Baby Boosh // 18 weeks

Ummmm #badhairday

How far along? 18 weeks

Total weight gain: 5+lbs

Maternity clothes? Jeans are still holding on strong. 

Stretch marks? Still nothing new.

Sleep: Melatonin is my best friend at the moment.

Best moment this week: Baby is getting stronger and there are some definite kicks in there. Especially when I hold Silas which cracks me up.

Movement: It's not consistent yet, but this babe is on the move and I'm noticing his/her sleep pattern. It seems pretty consistant with mine so crossing my fingers that this baby sleeps through the night.

Food cravings: Nothing really, I actually haven't had much of an appetite as of late.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Ugh, yes. I almost barfed the other day and I have another headache which I am going to guess is caffeine related.

Gender: Less than 2 weeks until we find out. More than anything I am looking forward to seeing a healthy baby!

Belly Button in or out? Looks the same as always...flat.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Mood of the week: Stressed and tired.

Looking forward to: Our ultrasound and some one on one time with my hubby this weekend for our anniversary! 

Summer time

The heat this summer has been unbearable. If I was 23 and had an endless amount of time to spend at the river I'd be overjoyed with the 20 straight days of 90+ degree weather. Well, that's just not the case. I have a rambunctious 16 month old who needs to get outside and that type of heat just doesn't do us any good. The majority of our days have been spent indoors this summer and that is such a bummer. If we want to get out it has to be early morning or late evening. There has been a lot of reading, block building, kicking a ball around in the house, and it's wearing on my pregnant soul. I am really looking forward to fall and being able to get outside a bit more. We were pretty lucky to have it cool down some this week though and made it out to the splash pad at the park nearby. Silas is obsessed and it's just the silliest thing to watch him run around with other kids. I am looking forward to him going to preschool next year and getting to do that regularly. Here are a few pictures from our day!

Fit pregnancy

Now, I am in no way preaching about this topic. I am simply putting my experience out there of having an "unfit pregnancy" and a "trying to be fit pregnancy". You know, I look back at my pregnancy with Silas with a slight tinge of bitterness. "I hated being pregnant" is what you could most likely find me saying about it. And really, it was my fault that it was how it was. I gained an extreme amount of weight with him. By the end of my third trimester I was unbelievably swollen, Silas was facing the wrong way as a result of my laziness, and during labor I had high blood pressure. Now, whether that had to do with the weight gain...I'm no doctor. But deep in me I know that it possibly could have been a little more enjoyable had I focused a bit more on the physical well being of my body. I could list off a bunch of excuses on why I gained so much; living in a new city, winter weather of -10 degrees, etc., etc. But really, that's all a bunch of crap. I knew with this pregnancy I wanted...needed to feel better about myself. I mentioned to a girlfriend who had just started working at a new yoga studio that if they needed someone to clean in exchange for free classes I was so down. I have always been envious of my girlfriends who practiced on the regular and had attempted throughout the years to become somewhat of a yogi myself. It never stuck because I was always "busy". Well, here I am cleaning a studio two nights a week in exchange for unlimited access to classes and I am hooked. I have actually never felt stronger or more flexible since my high school cheerleading days. And the crazy thing is, I've only been at it for 5 weeks.

It's been an awesome experience fixing my "mistakes" from the last pregnancy and I am just really enjoying myself this time. It's also nice to get out of the house and spend some time working on me. Motherhood doesn't always allow you the privilege of that very often and I am relishing in it.

Here are a few of my tips:

*Don't overdue it or start something that is extreme. Know your body and its limits. One reason I love doing vinyasa is that it allows me to take it as far as I feel as I can. Or con the contrary, hold back when I need to.
*Find someone to work out with. My friend Rikki is an amazing little yogi ( Hi, Rickles!). We take usually one class a week together. She is definitely more advance than me, but I love having my mat next to hers because it's 1) inspiring (I want to do crow, dammit!) and 2) seeing her flexibility and knowledge of the poses pushes me to be better at it.
*Talk to your health care provider about what is best for you. Now, i see a midwife who is all for my yoga practice. But, I know that there is probably more than a few OB's out there who would say "OMG YOU'RE GOING TO HARM THE BABY!". Whatever the case may be, you should make sure that what you're doing is safe and that you don't have anything going on medically that would prevent you from whatever exercise you've decided on.
*Know your limits and don't push yourself to the extreme. Remember, you are pregnant. Things are different. Listen to your body. Today, I stopped about 5 times to sit and skip a pose and sip on some water. It's OK to take breaks and go easy. Little bits of exercise are better than nothing!

Baby Boosh // 17 weeks

*Disclaimer: Hubs is never home so this is as good as it's gonna get. A bare belly, post yoga, weird, bump pic. Sorry, kids.

How far along? 17 weeks

Total weight gain: 5lbs

Maternity clothes? Still haven't pulled the trigger. Waiting until I'm desperate. Ha.

Stretch marks? No new ones, but my old ones are a little more noticeable (sad face).

Sleep: Silas is currently cutting molars. So none.

Best moment this week: Hearing this little ones heartbeat and chatting with my midwife. Love her! She gives me the best advice and is just so funny and awesome.

Movement: Baby likes to move! The movements are more distinct and if you stare at my belly you can actually seem him/her rolling around.

Food cravings: Sour candy. Still. My tongue almost fell off the other night from eating some sour patch kids. Definitely no more.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, still getting some headaches though.

Gender: Less than 3 weeks :)

Belly Button in or out? Looks the same as always...flat.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Mood of the week: Tired and missing my husband. Same as always...

Looking forward to: Possibly getting some sleep once Silas is done with this round of teething! And of course, finding out the gender.

Baby Boosh // 16 weeks

How far along? 16 weeks

Total weight gain: 5+ lbs (not sure of exact)

Maternity clothes? It's time to make the switch. I've picked out a few pieces on asos.com that I am thinking about pulling the plug on and purchasing.

Stretch marks? Still using avocado oil/coconut oil to prevent new ones.

Sleep: None whatsoever. It's really making things difficult around here.

Best moment this week: While I was holding Silas the baby kicked him because he was pressing on my belly. The jealousy has already started!

Movement: Lots and lots

Food cravings: Sour candy. Which I caved and bought some today. Immediately felt awful.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing really. Eggs made me a bit queasy the other day.

Gender: 4 more weeks and I  can't wait.

Belly Button in or out? Looks the same as always...flat.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Mood of the week: Blah. My husband is working so much so I've been feeling super sad about not being able to spend any time with him. Miss my boo!

Looking forward to: My appointment on Wednesday and finding out if we are team pink or team blue!

favorites >> clogs

My dream is to have a closet full of clogs. Kidding. Kind of. For about 2 years I pinned and pinned my little heart away on Pinterest. Admiring all of the beautiful wooden clogs that I could find. They were all very expensive to say the least. Then, last year I heard the magical words, "Buy some clogs" from my lovely mother. The day came, and I purchased a pair of Sven Clogs. Handmade in Minnesota, they were gorgeous. They arrived and I squealed and jumped up and down (seriously)! And...they were too small. They don't allow you to return. I was crushed. And by too small I mean barely. In clog land, there needs to be a little room- to make room for a pair of chunky knit socks if you wish. They are supposed to fit on the loose side and these babies were just too tight. So, here I am back to square one...daydreaming about when i'll get my chance again and wondering how I should sell these gorgeous shoes! Here are some that I am really swooning over:

1. | 2. | 3. | 4. | 5. | 6.

Fri-daze

The weekend! Definitely doesn't have the same thrill as it used to ;) My poor, poor, hubby is working all weekend which is bringing a tear to my eye. I miss that guy so much. He is so hard working and I am truly lucky to have married someone who just wants to provide the best life possible for his family. On a separate note- my sister is watching Silas tomorrow while I sneak in a yoga class! I am so excited to really turn yoga into a regular thing for myself. I felt so amazing after some vinyasa last week and my goal is to get to 3 classes this week. After yoga it's going down at the splash pad. Silas loves the water, but mainly stays on the perimeter due to the crazy big kids (they are actually pretty mean, it's so awful). We really need to get outside, with the 90 degree days looking like they are sticking around I have to try and get this kid out of the house. I am so ready for fall!

Happy weekend! xo

Oh, and I can't forget...Happy World Breastfeeding Week! :)