So this is what it feels like...

He slept. My baby slept "through the night". Yesterday, was one of the worst days and I'm not religious by any means, but I think the universe was all "Dude, let's cut you some slack". And then they sprinkled some magic sleepy dust on my little guy and he slept from 9-5. Sure, we were up at 5:30. But, beggers can't be choosers. All morning Nick and I kept exclaiming how different we felt. "This is amazing!". Ha. It's really funny the things that make you happy sometimes. So yesterday was a bitch fest for me and today I am feeling like I've got it all. Which I do have it all...but the sleep thing was the cherry on top. If you read my post yesterday, just know that I'm not a debbie downer all the time. Just when I haven't slept for 16 months...

Here's to hoping I'm not jinxing last night and this continues...

Weekend recap

This weekend was filled with lots of water and family time. I say it over and over again, but I miss my husband terribly. That man is putting in a LOT of hours and the only full day we get with him is Sunday. This past Sunday happened to be our two year anniversary and while we started out thinking we were going to have my sister babysit Silas so that we could spend some alone time together, we scratched that and really just wanted some quality time all three of us. So we headed to the pool! Portland has a community center in every neighborhood and they all pretty much have outdoor pools. We headed to a cute little neighborhood called Sellwood and there pool is seriously amazing. It has a walk in shallow end so it was perfect to lounge in while Silas splashed next to us. He was in heaven that little water baby. We packed a cooler full of snacks and my sister met up with us. I just have to say, this neighborhood is #1 on my list for house hunting next year. I am in love! The day before I went to a yoga class and the boys hung out downtown and waited for me to finish up. Then we walked on over to a little water fountain/splash pad called Jamison square and let Silas run around a bit. It definitely isn't my favorite spot (I like our park/splash pad a lot better), but I had been wanting to check it out anyway. So that's how our weekend ended up, lots of pics below :)

Summer time

The heat this summer has been unbearable. If I was 23 and had an endless amount of time to spend at the river I'd be overjoyed with the 20 straight days of 90+ degree weather. Well, that's just not the case. I have a rambunctious 16 month old who needs to get outside and that type of heat just doesn't do us any good. The majority of our days have been spent indoors this summer and that is such a bummer. If we want to get out it has to be early morning or late evening. There has been a lot of reading, block building, kicking a ball around in the house, and it's wearing on my pregnant soul. I am really looking forward to fall and being able to get outside a bit more. We were pretty lucky to have it cool down some this week though and made it out to the splash pad at the park nearby. Silas is obsessed and it's just the silliest thing to watch him run around with other kids. I am looking forward to him going to preschool next year and getting to do that regularly. Here are a few pictures from our day!

Fri-daze

The weekend! Definitely doesn't have the same thrill as it used to ;) My poor, poor, hubby is working all weekend which is bringing a tear to my eye. I miss that guy so much. He is so hard working and I am truly lucky to have married someone who just wants to provide the best life possible for his family. On a separate note- my sister is watching Silas tomorrow while I sneak in a yoga class! I am so excited to really turn yoga into a regular thing for myself. I felt so amazing after some vinyasa last week and my goal is to get to 3 classes this week. After yoga it's going down at the splash pad. Silas loves the water, but mainly stays on the perimeter due to the crazy big kids (they are actually pretty mean, it's so awful). We really need to get outside, with the 90 degree days looking like they are sticking around I have to try and get this kid out of the house. I am so ready for fall!

Happy weekend! xo

Oh, and I can't forget...Happy World Breastfeeding Week! :)

52 week project / 10.11

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

Silas: It has been unreal to watch you grow in the last 2 weeks. Your understanding of what I am saying to you is through the roof. "Go get us a book to read." You do it. "Go lay down so I can change your diaper." Done. I am sure every mama says this about their babes, but you are a very smart little boy. And fearless. I caught you climbing the cat tower the other day. I love you little bebe, you sure do make my days amazing.

Baby #2: Is that you I feel? I can't be sure, since it's pretty early on. I swear I can feel a few tumbles though. I'm trying not to "wish" this pregnancy would go faster, but I'm just so excited. Really trying to cherish the moments that your big brother is my one and only because when you get here, it's going to get crazy! I love you little one.

survival mode

This was taken on a rather awful day. A small break in the storm.

Always being naughty. And laughing about it. I guess my taking a picture of it doesn't exactly say, "Stop doing that!".

I very much look forward to nap time. But, sometime's I miss him when he's asleep. And nothing is better than when he wakes up smiling and wanting some snuggles.

Whenever people ask me how I'm doing lately, I simply respond with, "i'm surviving". That's where I'm at. This pregnancy is dragging its feet. I mean, they pushed my due date up  (back? I don't know...) 2 whole frickin' weeks so I pretty much feel as though the first trimester is a never ending black hole. And then there is my darling little 14 month old. Silas has been jumping in between horrific and the sweetest boy you'll ever meet. It's dizzying. We have started time out with the hopes that he will really  understand what we mean when we say "No". Because at the moment, he laughs. And then it makes me laugh. And then my chance to parent him is shot and I feel like a bad mama. I can only imagine how much crazier life is going to get in the next few months so I'm trying to get a grip and go with the flow. Not let every little thing bother me and trying to not give in to the exhaustion. Although, this pregnancy is just a total 180 from Silas. The morning sickness has been minimal and the headaches have been few and far between. Very grateful for that because that is what I was most worried about. I still can't wait to get a move on with it though. I want to feel some kicks and flips and actually look pregnant instead of the +5lb chub that is currently residing on my midsection so nicely. Anyways, Happy Humpday. Go get em'. xo

52 week project / 09

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

Silas: What I wouldn't give for a full nights sleep. Especially this week. Not quite sure when it will happen,  but I am hoping soon! This week you really turned it up on the charm and comedy. You are just so silly and love making me and your papa laugh with your "ninja kicks" and dance moves. Love you baby boy!

Baby #2: I swear, I can feel you in there. I mean, it's still a little early on, but I've heard the second go around you can feel them so much sooner. We saw you on the ultrasound last week and you are just a  tiny little thing at the moment. We have another one next week because our midwife wants to be sure just how old you are! I can't wait to find out if you are a boy or a girl :) XO

Breastfeeding while pregnant

Furbaby snuggles + nursing = multitasking.

As most of the people in my life know, I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. So it's no surprise to most that I have decided to still breastfeed Silas during this pregnancy. Last week, if you asked me how it was going I would have immediately replied with "horrible". Because it was. The pain. Wow. I hadn't felt that since the first few days after Silas was born. Now, he definitely doesn't need my breast milk for nutrition, but he does need it for comfort. And who am I to say no to that? We have slowly started the process of weaning, although I doubt that will happen any time soon. I really want it to be on his own terms, but I am trying to encourage it just a bit. So, we are just going with the flow. Some days he feeds a lot and some days he barely does. We consistently nurse for naps and bed times and if I had it my way that would be the only time. I have chosen to let him lead the way though. I listen to him and what he needs from me and if he needs a boob that barely produces any milk at the moment, then that is what he gets. The last week I have seen my milk production increase slightly which was a huge sigh of relief because nothing feels worse than a child nursing on a breast that has nothing coming out. I'm sad that the end is possibly near of our nursing relationship, but I'm also open to continuing it as long as he needs to (hellllllo tandem nursing!).

Pictures from the weekend

 This weekend gets an A+. It felt like we got a lot of family time in even though we only really have 1 full day with each other. Nick is working Saturday afternoons (BOO!) at the moment so we only get to see him in the morning for a few and then before bedtime. We ended up going out to dinner and our little boy was an angel! I can only imagine how hard it is for him to sit still while we eat dinner out, but he did it like a champ. He made some friends with the table behind us and these two 4yr old twins kept him busy so that Nick and I could actually eat and not stuff our faces in a hurry. Made me verrrry excited for his sibling. Everyone keeps telling me how nice it is for them to have a buddy to play with and how nice it is for the parents as well.

He was covered in strawberry juice and dirt after. It was adorable.

Strawberry + Rhubarb deliciousness

Sunday morning we woke up and went strawberry picking! It was so much fun. I love that we live the city life, but that we can head 15 mins out of town and be in the country, surrounded by farms. After an amazing lunch at the farm we picked at, we hauled our 6lbs of berries home and I of course had to bake a strawberry rhubarb pie. It was so damn delicious. I was so sad for the weekend to end. Nothing makes me happier than when my little family is out and about together. We miss Nick like crazy during the week. But this week/weekend is looking just as great...baby #2 appointment with my midwife which is always something to look forward to :)

52 week project / 07. 08

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

Silas: My baby boy, you are going to be a big brother! I am so excited and yet nervous for you. I know you'll do great, but I'm sad that my attention will have to be divided. You are my everything and I am going to do my best to make sure you feel that everyday.

Baby Boosh #2: Wow. I can't believe this is happening. I mean, we tried for you so obviously I knew it would happen at some point...still in a little disbelief that you will make me a mama of 2 :) We can't wait to meet you and I can't wait for this morning sickness to be gone! Excited for some kicks and movement in the next few weeks!

52 week project / 04. 05. 06.

Currently catching up. On so much. I've let things settle...and in a bad way. Mail has piled up. Voicemails have gone unheard. Blog posts have gone unwritten! Eeks. Here I am though, ready to rumble.

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

SIlas: Oh my goodness. How much you have grown this past month. Well, kind of. You are having a bit of trouble putting on weight so I've resorted to giving you all sorts of treats. Ice cream? Sure. Mac and Cheese? Why not. Pretty much everything I said I wouldn't allow you to have until later on. You are soooo tall though. Also, 8 teeth my little guy. I'm hoping we are at the end of the teething journey for now. That is of course until we get some molars which I'm sure are super fun. You have learned how to give kisses which are my absolute favorite thing. You love to snuggle and hang out in bed when it's rainy out. Your walking has turned into running and we have had to deal with quite a few scraped knees so far. Comes with the territory though. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you. So proud of the sweet and handsome boy you are turning into :) 

52 week project / 03

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

Silas: You are cutting what appears to be SIX teeth right now. We are both struggling through this; you with the pain and me with trying to console you. We are also aiming to get you comfortable to sleep in your crib. I have absolutely loved and cherished our co-sleeping journey, but we think you will be more comfortable since you are getting just way to big to share the bed with us. I love you so much baby boy. Hoping next week starts off a little better than today did.

Summer: Now & Then

The weather this week in Portland is going to be nothing short of amazing. Lots of park time is the plan :) It's crazy to look back at what life was like last year around this time. Our summer this year is shaping up to be quite different. Silas is walking/running all over the place and it's just so fun to watch him explore. Load on some sunscreen, pack a bag with the essentials and off we go on an adventure outside. Last year it was a frantic "Do we have everything?" moment before we left the house. And believe me, we not only had everything, we brought everything. I am throughly enjoying this moment of motherhood and the stage where Silas is at. He's no longer this fragile little being, but turning into an independent little boy. I like the fact that I can sprawl out on our blanket at the park and let him wander (not too far!) and discover some things on his own. It's freeing for me and I'm sure it is for him as well. I'm so proud of this little person. I can't wait for him to experience all that Oregon has to offer this summer!

52 week project / 02

"A portrait of my child, once a week, for a year."

Silas: My sweet little baby. This week has been rainy out so we have spent our time indoors. Lots of playing "horsey rides" and trying to introduce some art in your life. You have started giving kisses...more like an open mouth lick to the face. You have also started giving hugs. I love it all so much. One of my favorites is when I am doing the dishes and you walk up behind me and hug my legs. You are just too cute for words. I love you little man!

I'm happy.

I feel like I've found my rythm as a mama. Finally. It only took a year. I do very well with routine...so it just felt so awkward for me to not have a plan for my day to day. With a newborn it's just so unpredictable and new that I feel like you're scared 80% of the time to even move. So you just kind of sit and wait it out for a bit. It took me awhile to get comfortable leaving the house, loading Silas in the car, and just going about my day like a normal human. Here I am though. Living like a normal human. haha. To most, my day probably seems mundane or maybe even ridiculously boring. But I have found that I really enjoy being a stay at home mama. Like, really enjoy it. And part of me feels guilty admitting that. Our society doesn't really see that as the norm anymore so when I say it out loud I feel a little judged. People automatically assume that I'm lacking fufillment or something for myself. But all of this; my baby, the household day to day stuff...it is fufilling to me. Just like some people get enjoyment out of crunching numbers at a desk all day, I get enjoyment out of cleaning my floors with murphy's oil soap (seriously, love that stuff.) and cooking dinner for my family. To each their own I say! Anyways, I'm feeling good right now about how I've somewhat got my shit together. Of course, I'm sure next month or maybe even next week could be a different story. And of course there are things that I would like to accomplish for my own personal self at some point, but I really don't feel a rush at the moment. I like enjoying my baby all day everyday and I like the spot I'm in. And I'm more than sure that I'll get to the point where I spread my wings a bit, but not now. This place just feels too good to leave.

He helps me clean. I swear.

This is my arm workout.

I love my little buddy.

Here's to loving your life and enjoying right where you are. XO

Teething remedies

As I had stated in my previous post, last week was hard. And I mean so hard that I contemplated just sitting in the bathroom and crying for a few hours. But, alas I could not. I had a baby to comfort and soothe like no other. Silas is getting teeth! woo hoo. I'm sad to see his gummy smile go, but happy that this is finally happening. The kid is 11 months so it's been a constant "when is this going to happen" deal. And what's really funny is that it's his top middle two that are coming in, which if you're and expertise in baby teething you know that it's usually the bottom two that come in first. Anyways, onto the methods that I've been using to help my babe feel comfortable. Now, some doctors out there claim that teething really has no impact on a baby. They are full of shit (in my book). My kid is miserable. And I mean M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. It started a few weeks ago while we were in Michigan and kind of took off from there. The first sign was a constant grab at the mouth that accompanied a very intense whine. Now, imagine this happening for 10 hrs straight. I wanted to run away. Of course, being a new mama I was a frantic basket case because I had no idea what to give him. Tylenol was a big no no for me so I turned to some homeopathic remedies and they really seemed to take the edge off. I've listed them below (with a picture to correlate!) and unfortunately, I included some Tylenol (boo!), but sometimes you just have to do it.

(left to right)

1) A thermometer. Silas had a fever that reached 103 two nights in a row. He was nursing a TON and had normal diapers so I was sure that it was nothing to worry about, however I did call our pediatricians office to talk to a nurse on call just to be sure. If you are ever unsure though, call or take your child in immediately. I am glad that I had this on hand though. I checked his temp about every few hours.

2) Tylenol. Now, I really used this as a last resort. I have been adamant with myself that I would not give him Tylenol unless it was absolutely necessary. I caved and ended up giving it to him twice. Both times were at night and I halved the recommended dose. Also, they now make is DYE free which I found to be an absolute must. Unfortunately, the idiots don't make it flavorless so we had a puke episode due to the disgusting "grape" flavor.

2) Teething tablets. I found that a combination of these and the homeopathic orajel were my savior. Together they did the job. The tablets dissolve quickly and he took them so easily. I usually popped one in and then nursed him.

3) Lavender oil. This is such a soothing scent. I mix it with a bit of coconut oil and give him a nice soothing massage after a bath. I actually do this on the regular, but when he was teething it seemed to calm him some.

4) Orajel. Now, this is homeopathic and not the regular stuff. With babies you want to really stay away from benzocaine which is found in normal and baby orajel. This can be found right next to the regular stuff! A little swipe seemed to be efficient at eliminating some of the pain.

(not pictured)

*Breastfeeding. I can't speak for the bottle thing, but breast feeding was our #1 go to. Silas wanted to nurse almost every hour and I let him. It shot my milk supply up through the roof (and now I have to deal with the side effects; hello leaky boobs!), but it calmed him down and I know it felt good on his gums. And no, he does not bite me.

*Camilia. These little drops can be found at Whole Foods or probably any natural food store. They really helped us out and were so easy for him to take (flavorless!).

*Amber necklace. Unfortunately, we left ours in Michigan. I will vouch for their effectiveness though. I would put it on him as soon as we woke up and it seemed to take the edge off.

* I am not a medical professional and everything you give your baby should be talked about with your doctor. 

What Silas eats

 In the beginning of introducing solids to Silas i couldn't help but feel like it was becoming a burden. Getting him to try things, watching him closely to make sure he didn't choke, dealing with the puke episodes that sometimes occurred. It turned me off to the whole thing. I'm happy to report that it's a different story now. I really enjoy thinking of new things that he can try and it's exciting to know that I am giving my child the best nutrition possible. My guidelines for his "meals" are simple: whole foods, organic, no additives (sugar, salt, and if oil; coconut). I love putting together a little plate for his dinner. While we haven't really got the whole chew/swallow thing down, he's learning and experimenting with flavors and that is really all I care to accomplish with  our meal time. And somedays are better than others when it comes to this. There are days where we forgo the solids and that's fine with us. He is still breastfeeding on demand so I am not worried about his calorie consumption when it comes to eating and i think that has made this whole experience less stressful.

steamed carrots - mango - sauteed kale w/ garlic

sauteed spinach in coconut oil - raspberries - peas

Some things I do to make it easier for Silas's dinner time are using frozen organic veggies. This has been a life saver. Add it to a pan with a little water and heat them up and you've got a healthy option for them to eat. I've been experimenting with giving him some cooked greens as well. Cooked greens are a little harder to chew/swallow since he doesn't have any teeth so it's something I monitor closely when he's eating it. 

We haven't really gone the traditional route with introducing solids. We started at around 9 months and I didn't introduce one food at a time for 3 day increments. No purees either. I say go with what you feel is right, don't rush it, and let it happen naturally. If Silas doesn't like something I don't shove it down his throat. I might try it again the next day or even wait a couple weeks. I don't want to raise a picky eater so I am all for experimenting with flavors (we put cinnamon in his oatmeal). I also enjoy picking at his plate and taking bites of it myself. I feel it encourages him to go for it.  

You can read more on Silas's eating here.